Happy Holidays

For most Americans, St. Patrick’s Day celebrations began this weekend. Why? I never know, but I don’t really care because this superfluous holiday is to girls, what halloween is to guys. Or what it’s like for guys when the first warm day of the year strikes and girls retire pants for miniskirts. St. Patty’s Day forces men to wear green (this is a great thing), and they seem to multiply all over the place; flocking in packs, proudly celebrating drinking and bromance. Perhaps it’s my beer goggles talking again, or total lack of vision in general, but this is what I see and clearly what I like.

In honor of this, we got a couple of hotel rooms downtown to minimize driving and maximize partying. I am now currently running on 6 hours total sleep since Friday and seriously wondering why the fuck I didn’t jump out of our 14th story hotel window this morning to avoid life as a hungover person. (I KNOW YOU HAVE IT WORSE LO W. WORKING A 12 HOUR SHIFT, SO ILL KEEP THE COMPLAINING TO A MINIMUM). Seriously though, hotels here do not have screens and the windows open up completely. That tells me people are happy when they travel to Baltimore. Or no one gives a fuck about the idiots who fall out of windows.

So here is a sneak peak of how MY night ended on Saturday. Well, actually..I ended up passing out in the hotel lobby with a bag of Famous Amos cookies in my hand and crumbs all over my body. These clips happened right before that, I’m assuming. I am very surprised I wasn’t kidnapped or raped. But even more surprised that I managed to purchase Famous Amos cookies. I also made $33. That explanation will be saved for later. Thankfully, a very nice gentleman, and modern day version of a knight in shining armour, rescued me and carried me to my room. I seriously wonder how I’ve been alive for the past 25 years.